• I cannot speak for anybody else; in fact, I have a hard enough time speaking for myself. Thankfully, I have those who have volunteered to speak on my behalf on a variety of issues. This has been good, relieving me the necessity of expressing myself. But, as people keep telling me, all things must end sometime.
    As far as I am concerned, I have had enough. There is absolutely no use in trying to talk me out of it; I have had enough.

  • Labor Day, celebrated since 1882, signifies the end of summer for those who live up north where the weather has already started cooling off. For us it’s a long weekend away from work where we can relax at the beach or join in some fun activities. Make reading Pun Alley one of these fun activities.
    A raise from the boss
    The nagging wife told her husband that he had not been sufficiently explicit with the boss when he asked for a raise.

  • Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly upgraded our lives with cell phones. Up to this time, I just assumed the cell phone was what a prisoner used..
    My wife and I dragged our feet for a long time until we finally took the plunge. Both of us finally went to the cell phone store and signed up for cell phone service. She picked out a phone for her and then picked up another phone and turned to me and said, “I think this will suit you.”

  • By now you should have noticed those large yellow vehicles. Yep, school started last Monday. It’s time to be extra careful as you drive. Watch out for school buses stopping and starting, as well as for children crossing roads and streets.
    The buses have been taking a short cut through Pun Alley to drop off some stories.
    No more
    After the first few days of school the boy said to his mom, “Teacher asked me if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.”

  • On Sept. 10, the On Top of the World Lions Club in cooperation with the Ocala West United Methodist Church, will engage in diabetes screening for adults and eye screening for children ages 1 to 6.
    The event will take place between 7:30 and 9:30 a.m. at the church, 9330 S.W. 105th St.
    At the same time the church members will be selling their first seasonal breakfast.
    The treatment of vision impairment and its prevention is paramount to the mission of Lions Clubs.

  • The Nature Coast All Veterans Reunion needs vendors of all kinds, and sponsors, for the weekend of Oct. 7 to Oct. 9. Food, crafts, merchandise, etc. Sites start at $175 for a 10-by10-foot space, including a refundable $50 cleanup fee. Larger sites available. Deadline is Aug. 31.

  • A friend of mine said to me recently, “Old boy, how’s it feel to be a member of the Over-the-Hill gang?” I mumbled something as politely as I could, but on the inside, I was a little furious. I may be getting older, but I definitely am not old! In fact, I plan to get older every day.
    Once I got my blood pressure under control, I looked into this a little more closely. I am not quite sure I want a membership in such an organization. I checked out the dues and I am not quite sure I am up for it.

  • It is a question that has puzzled humans for eons. How did our world come into being and who or what was responsible for its creation?

  • In 1988 Congress, by a House Joint Resolution, designated this coming Sunday, Aug. 21, to be “National Senior Citizens Day.” President Reagan then issued a proclamation calling upon the people of the United States to observe the day with appropriate ceremonies and activities.
    Of course, appropriate activities for Pun Alley are some senior stories.

  • Bingo is played at the Post every Monday and Thursday beginning at 11:30 a.m. Lunch is also available.
    Fish Fry 2nd and 4th Friday of every month (baked chicken is also available).
    This is served from 5 to 7 p.m. and the price is 2 for $10 or one ticket for $6. Karaoke in the canteen starting at 6 p.m.
    Wings and shrimp boats are served the 1st and 3rd Friday of each month. On the 5th Friday there will be a taco buffet from 4 to 6 p.m.
    Wednesday lunches are now available at the Post with a varying menu.

  • Friday, Aug. 19: Steak night with karaoke by J & S Entertainment beginning at 5 p.m.,
    Saturday, Aug. 20: TV sports, Show me the money at 2 p.m., Queen of Hearts, Rita's award, ham dinner and karaoke by Kenny Jackson all begins at 5 p.m.
    Sunday, Aug. 21: Breakfast Buffet 9 a.m. until 12 noon. TV sports
    Monday, Aug. 22: Men's General Mtg at 7 p,m.
    Tuesday, Aug. 23: Wings or shrimp with karaoke by David Baldwin starting at 5 p.m.
    Thursday, Aug. 25: Fun Night, bowling at 5 p.m., shuffleboard and Wii bowling tournaments at 6 p.m.

  • This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. This week as I pondered our life together it occurred to me, I might be taking some things for granted. Doing this, especially when it involves another person, is dangerous. I decided to take a little stock of myself and my relationship with the Mistress of the parsonage. What makes our marriage so great?

  • The recent political shenanigans about raising the national debt and reducing spending brought to mind Will Rogers whose salty comments on the political and social scene made him widely known. Starting out in vaudeville as a cowboy rope-twirler, joking casually with the audience, he went on to gain a wide audience through motion pictures, books, radio, and a syndicated newspaper column.

  • By Peter Musella
    Big Sun Chorus
    August and the “Dog Days of Summer” are upon us. In spite of the sweltering heat, the Big Sun Chorus of Ocala is moving right along with “cool” plans for our new season of barbershop harmony.
    We have undergone major changes in the last few months; Anne Lord Bellis, our music director, resigned after many years of directing and leading us through some fun-filled years.

  • It is a box like no other in history. Shrouded in mystical power, holiness and spirituality, it has captivated the minds of archeologists and lay people alike. While its exact whereabouts is unknown having been lost in antiquity, moderns are left with only reading about the Ark of the Covenant.

  • The Stuff the Bus Operation comes to Jasmine Square tomorrow with lots of activities for kids and adults. All proceeds will go to the charity. On the way to Jasmine, the bus driver made a stop at Pun Alley and related some stories that have been traveling around on the bus routes.
    Capitol offense
    A blonde visiting Washington wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”

  • Usually, I live life on an even keel. I once had an odd keel, but fortunately, I had the good sense to throw it back into the water from whence it came. I take pride in maintaining a certain sense of balance in my life. But, there are those times when all balance is thrown out the window.
    Just this past week when I was enjoying an unusually wonderful sense of balance in my life, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage changed my whole demeanor.

  • Now that I have safely escaped the infamous 50-something stage of life, I am carefully testing the waters before me. They look calm, but you never can be sure. Moreover, at this juncture of my life I am in no mood for taking chances.

    Just the other day the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said to me rather sarcastically, “How does it feel to be 60-something?”

    I knew she was having too much fun with this so I retorted by saying, “I feel like two 30-year-olds.”

  • Today marks several significant dates in aviation history. The first transcontinental airmail flight from New York to San Francisco was flown in 1920 and the first jet transpacific flight was made in 1952. President Eisenhower moved us into the space age when he signed the NASA & Space Act of 1958.

    Accordingly, we take off from Pun Alley’s short runway into the skies with some pilot axioms.

    Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.

    If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.

  • Whoever said, “All good things must come to an end,” knew whereof he spoke. Why is it that something really good goes by so quickly and something really bad hangs around forever, or so it seems?

    Let me explain a little bit of what I mean.