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Features

  • On Sunday, Sept. 8, the Rev. Robert M. Lewis was officially welcomed by the Rt. Rev. John W. Howe, Bishop of Central Florida, as the second Rector of the Church of the Advent.

  • The most recent business mixer for the West Marion Business Association gave area businesses the opportunity to promote their services. The event was sponsored by Quiet Oaks..

  • A will is one of the most important documents you can create in your lifetime. Think of a will as the financial blueprint of the distribution of your assets after your death. Your will can clearly state who will be guardian of your minor children, who will inherit your assets, when they will inherit your assets, and any conditions that must be met for them to receive your assets. If you die without a valid will, the court does not have your instructions to follow. Therefore, it has no way of knowing how you may have wanted to distribute your assets.

  • The SPCA will be kicking off its new season on Thursday, Sept. 17. The group will be welcoming new and current members at 1 p.m. in Room H of the Arbor Conference Center in On Top of the World Communities. If you live outside On Top of the World, the guard at the front gate will give you directions. Please note that this is a service organization for the entire Marion County area. Residents from all communities who would like to make a difference in the lives of pets in need and their people are welcome. You can come as a guest and then join if you like what you see and hear.

  • According to the Internet site, Bizarre, Crazy, Silly Unknown Holidays, today is the 111th year anniversary of Chiropractic Founders Day. Time to get cracking with some back bending stories.

    Adjustment

    A man was very skeptical of chiropractors, but when no other treatment seemed to relieve the chronic pain in his back, he decided to give it a try. Before his first appointment, he told the chiropractor of his reservations, but after a few adjustments he felt better than he had in years. “What do you think now?” the chiropractor asked.

  • What is estate shrinkage? When you die, you will leave behind all your worldly goods. Presumably, you will want these goods, called your estate, to go to your loved ones for their support, or to charity or other specific people, collectively called your beneficiaries. There will be many hands looking for something. Some of your estate will go to your final expenses. Some of it will go to pay attorney’s fees and probate costs. A lot of it may go to pay estate taxes.

  • Since 1981 mystery writer Sandra Brown has attracted legions of fans. This, however, is the first time I’ve read even one of her 50 novels.  It begins with young television reporter Britt Shelley, who has been on an amazing career trajectory, waking beside the corpse of a former police detective with whom she’d been friends for years. Although not an original idea, the twist here is that she’s not immediately aware of his demise. What does disturb her is forgetting the night before and how she ended up in a sleepover with Jay Burgess.

  • Freedom Public Library invites all tweens, grades 4 thru 6, on a Magical Mystery Tour of the new virtual library to “Break the Code” on Wednesday, Sept. 16 and Nov. 4, from 3 to 4 p.m. in the computer lab.

    According to library supervisor Heather Ogilvie, “We are seeking a select group of students to participate on a team of research detectives and unravel a library mystery.”

  • A while back I was getting a haircut when I noticed several copies of the Citizen lying around. I asked Larry, my barber, if he reads Pun Alley. It turns out he reads the puns and jokes, but didn’t remember the Pun Alley name. I told him he now has to read it every week. Today’s column is for him.

    Don’t pin me down

  • Last Tuesday I was sulking around the house complaining about the passing of the summer and how it goes by so fast. Personally, I think I have a right to complain in my own house. After all, I pay the mortgage, the taxes and the utilities, that is, when I think of it. The only thing I do not pay, is attention to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, which has cost me a lot more than the mortgage, taxes and utilities put together.

  • I was frantically searching for something I desperately needed when I stumbled upon something I had long ago forgotten. I am always trying to find something that I know where it is but I just cannot put my fingers on it at the moment. It is not that my office is messy and disorganized; I just have a very complicated filing system. It is so complicated that most times I do not understand it myself.

  • Recent news reports show that the building industry is starting to show signs of recovery. Our thoughts turn to the workers who play the most prominent part in this. It’s an appropriate time because Monday is Labor Day, a day dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers.

    The Beginning

    A builder, an electrician, and a lawyer were arguing about which profession was the oldest. The builder pointed out proudly that the first thing God had done was to build the earth.

  • It’s that time of year again. The children are back in school, activities have resumed and here in Florida, people are “watching the tropics” and hoping the next named storm passes us by. It is also the time of friendly gatherings and back yard barbecues and the end of the summer holiday called Labor Day, observed in honor of the working man and woman.

  • You know what it’s like to play or work hard outside on a hot summer day. You sweat, you get thirsty and you may take breaks in the air conditioning to get cool. Now, take that hot summer day and add a fire that can reach temperatures of 500 degrees. Next, add 70-80 pounds of equipment and insulated bunker gear. Now, run into that fire, wearing the bunker gear, and find the only place to get cool is outside the fire in the nearly 100 degree summer temperatures.

  • Summer has a peculiar way about it. It takes its time in getting here and then gets out of town as soon as possible before people realize it is gone. This has happened this year for me.

    I have waited all winter and spring for summer to get here. Now, just as I am getting adjusted to the good old summertime it is about to move on. Consequently, I would like to put in a protest. People are protesting about everything these days so I want to put in my protest about the fading summer.

  • School days, school days, good, old Golden Rule days. They’re back again! Kids, with their backpacks and lunches, are on those big yellow vehicles. It’s important for everyone to watch out for these buses stopping and starting, as well as for children crossing roads and streets. Already, the bus drivers have dropped off some tales in the Pun Alley mailbox.

    Help!

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up 2 fingers.”

  • August and September mean back to school for most youngsters. At the library it means S.U.R.F.’s Up, or Super Ultimate Reading Fun. With this entertaining program’s theme, Stop, Drop, and Read, kids and parents alike enjoy a brief burst of spontaneous learning in ten terrific minutes. Join the fun on Wednesdays at 3:30 p.m. and help us prove once again that every moment in the library counts.

    Friends of the library need your help

  • Investment planning during retirement is not the same as investing for retirement and, in many ways, is more complicated. Your working years are your saving years. Typically, a worker’s main source of income is from wages. Wage earners experience some protection against inflation by receiving a raise in pay periodically. Their retirement objective is to grow retirement savings as much as possible. To that end, and because they have time to recover from losses, workers are able to put some money in higher risk investments.

  • Perhaps the most familiar symbol of Judaism is the Star of David (magen david) but in actuality is has only been so since the Middle Ages. The symbol of the two triangles fused in two different directions has a fascinating history and its origin is shrouded in myth and mysticism.

  • Forty years ago today, Hawaii became the 50th state in the Union. It displaced Key West as having the most southern point in the United States. It’s not surprising that many don’t know where Hawaii is.

    One man who had driven through all 49 states wanted to drive to Hawaii. Arriving in California he was disappointed to find it impossible. Despondently he wandered along a beach, found a bottle and rubbed it. A genie appeared and said, “I will grant you one wish, but only one.”