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Features

  • It was wall-to-wall bikers last Saturday as the Steel Horse Stampede took place to benefit Hospice. The motorcycle riders braved the cool weather to raise funds for a worthy cause.

  • An article in a local newspaper caught my eye the other day. In a recent survey concerning Americans’ knowledge of religious belief, it showed that agnostics, Jews and Mormons outperformed Protestants and Catholics in answering questions, but although they were knowledgeable about other faiths, some respondents did not know the basic tenets of their own faith. For instance, Catholics did not know that the bread and wine used in Communion, actually become the Body and Blood of Christ, according to Church teaching and that the wine and bread are not merely symbols.

  • Each of the 102 veterans on board had served in World War II. Each had a different story.

    The 102 veterans were on the second Honor Flight trip to leave from Ocala carrying Marion County veterans to Washington D.C. Each veteran on the trip wore a name tag denoting they were VIPs.

    The chartered jet left around 8 a.m. Thursday for the one hour, 30-minute flight to Baltimore carrying the veterans and 70 volunteers. Once there the group was split, as per their hat color, to three different buses for a trip to the World War II monument.

  • Next Thursday is Veterans Day, a holiday to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the armistice that ended World War I.

    Our parade down Pun Alley starts with a 21-pun salute to honor our veterans.

    When hostile armies were preparing to storm the bridge to his castle, the king said to his wife, “Hand me the moat control.”

  • Years ago Halloween was strictly for children’s activities of dressing up in costumes and going from door to door for candy treats. Now, even adults get into the act wearing a costume and pretending to be other than what they really are. Most of us have just one day for this. But our politicians do this every day, especially leading up to Election Day Nov. 2.

  • On travels far away from Pun Alley I found a mountain moonshine festival to be held this weekend in Georgia’s Dawson County. It explores the history of the area during prohibition when running moonshine through the foothills of the northeast Georgia mountains was a way of life. I took a shine to it and its stories.

    A real shot

    A flatlander was driving down a road back in the hills when a hillbilly stepped out into the road and leveled his rifle at him.

  • Shoppers at the Canopy Oak Publix on State Road 200 Monday evening, Oct. 4, may have noticed some young shoppers searching the aisles.

     Those young shoppers were fourth and fifth graders from Hammett Bowen Elementary School. They were not really shopping.

    They were working math problems written by their teachers but pertaining to a grocery shopping trip.

    One problem for fifth graders went this way:

  • Today is the day you can be grouchy without any excuses. According to the Internet site, Bizarre, Crazy, Silly Unknown Holidays, today is National Grouch Day. But to be grouchy all day, you should probably wait till tomorrow to read Pun Alley.

    Cooking

    Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, “We’ve been married 10 years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food.”

    “That’s awful,” the other woman said. “That must really bother you.”

  • The minute I got the phone call I knew I’d be in hot water when I got home. Sure enough, it was running out of the garage and down the driveway. The hot water heater had sprung a leak. When the plumber arrived to install a new one I had just started cleaning out the water logged mess in the garage. We exchanged some interesting stories that have now made their way to Pun Alley.

    Double double, toilet trouble

    A plumber obtained a seal pup from a marine animal rescue service. He brought the slippery little fellow up to be his valued assistant on the job.

  • The world’s biggest festival is Oktoberfest, held each year in Munich, Germany, running from late September to early October. People from all over pilgrimage to Germany to throw down beer, sing in good cheer, and enjoy Bavarian food.

    Our own Oktoberfest celebration, modeled after the Munich event, will be held tomorrow at the Circle Square. Our trip down Pun Alley brings us some German thoughts and a few alcoholic stories.

    Euro-English

  • The year was 1492. Not a good one for the Jews of Spain. The Edict of Expulsion had been signed by their Most Catholic Majesties, Ferdinand and Isabella, and the word was “get out” (of Spain) or convert to Christianity. Many choose to leave while others hoping to keep their fortunes and families intact, remained in Spain and at least outwardly converted to the Christian faith. These New Christians or Conversos often practiced Judaism in secret. In time they were known as Marranos (a derogatory Spanish word for “pig”) or secret Jews.

  • Temperatures, both day and night, have been decreasing; days are getting shorter; and breezes have picked up. Complaints about it being too hot have ceased. All signify that autumn has just started. Pun Alley plunges into the fall to leave you with a smile on your face while you enjoy the nice weather.

    You’ll fall for this one

  • On this day in 1920 the American Professional Football Association, a precursor of the NFL, was formed in Canton, Ohio. This year, professional football just started its regular season and college football is looking at its third week. It’s time for us to get a kick out of some gridiron stories.

    Really offensive

  • It is considered the source of life and here and Florida is a precious commodity even though we are surrounded on three sides by it. And while we welcome the life-giving moisture, the destructive forces of hurricanes are not a desirable guest in our midst.

  • Monday is International Chocolate Da,y according to the Internet site, Bizarre, Crazy, Silly Unknown Holidays. The Cacao tree, the source for chocolate, has been cultivated for at least three millennia in Mexico, Central and South America. Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Travel down Pun Alley today and get your dose of chocolate happiness.

    Chocolate ice cream

    A man approached an ice cream vendor and asked, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.”

  • With coloring crayons, colored pencil and colored markers, construction paper was transformed into get well cards last week at Hammett Bowen Elementary School.

    The get well cards were for a Marine who had been shot four times. On Aug. 30, Cpl. Shane Hathaway underwent surgery at National Naval Medical Center for his injuries.

    His parents requested cards to help cheer him up.

  • In a few short days, Jews all over the world will be ushering the New Year of 5771. Many will be attending the special High Holiday services which mark this very holy and penitential time of the year. I would like to give you a glimpse into some of the liturgical offerings in order to give you a better understanding of the nature of the holidays.

  • Monday is Labor Day, a holiday that America has celebrated on the first Monday in September since 1882. The original idea was to have a street parade demonstrating the strength of trade and labor organizations. Now many consider the holiday to be the end of summer while others just welcome a day off work.

    Anticipating the coming holiday, some locals held a parade on Pun Alley to leave some interesting stories.

    The worker

    The Wage and Hours Government Department claimed Mickey was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

  • They are our pets. Cats, dogs, birds, guinea pigs and gerbils. They are our companions, confidants and loyal friends. In the Hebrew Bible, however, animals have very different roles.

  • For the last two years, bears have bothered a friend of mine who summers in the eastern Tennessee mountains. Last August he killed a bear that had pulled over a peach tree and this year an extremely aggressive bear chased him indoors. Consequently, bears have arrived in the Alley.

    Bear with us

    My friend previously had a neighbor, an atheist, who enjoyed hiking through the woods, admiring nature. On one such jaunt this neighbor heard rustling in the bushes. As he turned, he saw a huge bear charging him.