• As circumstance would have it, and I like to give circumstances due credit, I was visiting my grandchildren without the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.

    Normally, if there is such a status, my wife travels with me when we visit the grandchildren. However, when she is along I do not have a chance. I will not say that she hogs the grandchildren, she does, I just will not say so. As a husband, I know when to speak my mind and when to mind my speaking. The inexperienced husband does not know the difference and pays for it.

  • By Bob Garver

  • Today is the last day of school. Teachers breathe a sigh of relief while parents foresee more work taking care of their children while waiting for the reopening of school. Tales being told out of school have already found their way to Pun Alley.

    Teacher frustrations

    Teacher: The story you handed in called “Our Dog,” is exactly like your brother’s. Pupil: Of course, it’s the same dog.

    Teacher: What does “coincidence” mean? Pupil: Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

  • By Pat Wellington

    This novel is a prequel to Kelly’s runaway best seller “Lilac Girls,” in which Caroline Ferriday was a main character. In this story, however, she’s a mere child. The story’s focus, instead, is on her mother, Eliza, who reaches out to Russian nobility being brutalized during World War I and the Russian Revolution.

  • Dr. James L. Snyder

    Like many people, I try planning and arranging my week so I can accomplish as much as possible.

    For example, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage on Monday morning hands me her “honey-do-list” to complete by the end of the week. When she hands it to me, I smile and underneath that list I have concealed from her my “to-do-list.”

    It is not that I ignore her list… well, maybe I do. But, I don’t do it on purpose… well, maybe I do.

  • By Dick Frank

    Today is National Bike to Work Day, right in the middle of National Bike to Work Week. Even if you are retired get out on a bicycle. If you don’t have one you can rent from a bicycle shop on the greenway and enjoy paved and dirt trials away from all the traffic and noise. If you can’t bicycle anymore, just ride down Pun Alley for a little humor.

    Up and down

  • By Pat Wellington

    “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”

    By Lori Gottlieb

    Here’s a non-fiction book that pulls back the curtain on the therapy process.  Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb helps patients looking for answers like the egotistic television producer, the newlywed with terminal cancer, and a senior citizen contemplating suicide.

    In her down time Gottlieb seeks help herself of a specific kind. She wants to find a therapist who will agree with her that the lover who recently dumped her is a beast.

  • Patricia A. Woodbury RN, MSN

    Americans like their breads. The 2015-2020 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends that at least half of your breads and other grain-based foods, including cereals and energy bars, should be whole grain. Whole-grain breads you find in supermarkets differ by the relative amount of whole grain, the sodium content and the amount of added sugars.

  • “I Remember Mama”

    Surely I’m not the only one who remembers that wonderful television program from years ago (the days of black and white TV).  It was called “I Remember Mama,” and it was a very nostalgic and lovely show about a sweet lady with her hair up in a bun working in the kitchen with the full apron cooking up something that you would swear you could smell drifting from that old small screen TV set.

  • Patricia A. Woodbury RN, MSN

    Americans like their breads. The 2015-2020 Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends that at least half of your breads and other grain-based foods, including cereals and energy bars, should be whole grain. Whole-grain breads you find in supermarkets differ by the relative amount of whole grain, the sodium content and the amount of added sugars.

  • By Sally Hepworth

    This is a twisting, insightful and addictive novel with a compelling edge.  By telling the story from the perspectives of both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, author Hepworth shows us that there are always two sides to every story.

    Lucy lost her mother to cancer when she was just a child. After marrying Ollie she hoped that her mother-in-law would be warm and loving. But that was not to be.  From the start elegant, haughty Diana is obviously disappointed in her son’s wife and is more aloof toward her than warm.

  • By Dick Frank

    The Kentucky Derby takes place tomorrow. Known as “The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports” for its approximate duration, and also called “The Run for the Roses” for the blanket of roses draped over the winner, it is the most famous horserace in the United States.

    Pun Alley does a little bit of horsing around and goes to the track for some racy stories.

  • By Bill Koch, editor

    She lay their screaming, uttering highly uncomfortable and very unlady-like phrases, threatening the destruction of all mankind if she survived your arrival.

    She sweated. She growled. She spat. And she wept – and not for your little darlingness.

    You were the pain. You were the problem. You were the cause of it all – you and that dang father of yours!

  • By Bill Koch

    We’ve never met. Well, we’ve probably never met. I only know a handful of people in the communities our two newspapers serve in Marion County.

    We reach a lot of eyeballs: 40,000-60,000. (That’s assuming most of our readers have two eyes.) Many, many minds are currently pondering the deeper meaning of the content – and the ads – we regularly deliver to our readers.

  • Part 3 in a continuing series

    By Bill Koch

    A Benjamin in 1940 would be worth nearly $350 today. That’s about what Ida M. Fuller received on Jan. 31, 1940: $22.54.

    That was her first Social Security check. In fact, Fuller was the first regular Social Security recipient under the new old-age benefit enacted into law some five years prior by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

    Roosevelt signed the Social Security Act on Aug. 14, 1935.

  • Patricia A. Woodbury RN, MSN

    If your hands tremble occasionally, it may be just a fleeting nervous situation.  But, if it happens frequently and spontaneously, and cannot be controlled, it could be a condition called essential tremor (E.T.).

    E.T is the most common movement disorder, afflicting up to 10 million people in the United States.  It is a chronic progressive condition that usually affects the hands, but can also disrupt other parts of the body including, the head, arms, vocal cords and less commonly the lower body.

  • Pat Wellington


    By Brad Parks

    Tommy Jump’s acting career is probably behind him even though he’s only 27.  Too short to play romantic leads, he’s starting to go bald so he can no longer play children or teenagers. His fiancée is pregnant and he can’t tell her how bleak their future is –at least not now.

  • Dr. James L. Snyder

    Even as old as I am, there are still things I fear. I do not want to make a list, I’m afraid to.

    This is not true of the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. As far as I know, she fears nothing, but many things and people fear her. I am the president of that Fear Group. She has a subtle way of expressing her fear and each day I am learning more of that subtlety.

  • By Dick Frank

    Sunday is Easter, an important day for Christians as they commemorate the resurrection of their savior, Jesus Christ, after his crucifixion on Good Friday. It’s also a fun day for children as they get baskets from the Easter bunny and go on Easter egg hunts. Our travel down Pun Alley brings us some appropriate tales.

    Fluffy no more

  • Monday, April 15, is the day of national reckoning when your income tax is due. Not only does our income get taxed, but also our minds in trying to fill out all those IRS forms. It seems appropriate that the month begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of “May Day!” Tread lightly; the Alley is full of tax.

    Just about every human activity is tax licensed, regulated, or restricted. But the IRS has not yet decided to put a tax on Pun Alley. Doing that would certainly be a joke.