Be courteous to others when driving on Pun Alley

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By Dick Frank

Today marks the end of National Police Week. We usually see police as we travel along Highway 200, the backbone of the corridor that plays a large part in our daily activities. Many travel between home and stores while others use the highway as a way between home and work.

We should always be courteous to other drivers, even if they are wrong; it’s better than to be dead right. Traveling down Pun Alley gets us to some arresting stories.

Cover up

Jen was speeding along Highway 200 on her way home from shopping when the police car pulled up next to her.

“Hey you! Pull over!” shouted the traffic cop. Jen complied, and the judge later fined her 65 dollars. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident. The inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, “One pullover, $65.”

I’ll drink to that!

At the police station the indignant drunk demanded, “What I want to know is what I was brought in for.”

“You were brought in for drinking,” the sergeant replied.

“Well, that’s different,” the drunk continued, “When do we get started?”

Uniform reply

A tourist asked a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”

“No, I am an undercover detective.”

“So why are you in uniform?”

“Today is my day off.”

Experienced witness

The officer reported to the sergeant about having no luck with the witness. “Did you browbeat him, yell at him, and ask him every question you could come up with?” asked the sergeant.

“I certainly did.”


“And he said, ‘Yes dear you’re right,’ and dozed off!”

Police Briefs

When he only stole cough drops the cops said the perp must have been a hoarse thief.

My uncle is with the FBI. They caught him in Cleveland.

When the kid ran away with the circus the police made him bring it back.

The police found the missing hairdresser by combing the city.

A policeman in each subway station has been of big help. Up until today not one train has been stolen.

The police chief in a nudist colony liked the job, but putting on the badge was murder.

Detective: “You’re looking for one of your tellers? Is she tall or short?”

Banker: “Both.”

The cops are really going after the bookies now. The bookies claim race prejudice.

A former salesman became a police officer. After his first day on the job he told his wife, “This is a much better job. The pay may not be as big, but the customer is always wrong.”

The bridge party was going along fine until the cops looked under the bridge.

Nothing will improve your driving like having a police car following you.

The guy at the police station who draws pictures of suspects is a con artist.

Two men escaped from prison. One is 7 feet 3 inches tall, and the other is 3 feet 4 inches tall. Police are looking high and low for them.

A police captain was shown two sets of fingerprints of a suspected robber. “These can’t belong to the same man,” the captain stated. “They’re whorls apart.”

Light headed

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. The cop asked, “Do you know where you’re going?”

“I don’t know for sure,” answered the driver, “but wherever it is, I must be late. Everybody’s coming back already!”

With great tact

Driving down 200 a man had to swerve to avoid a box that had fallen from a truck. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over and recovered the box. When he opened the box, it contained large upholstery tacks. “I’m sorry sir,” the policeman told the driver, “but I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”

Amazed, the driver asked, “For what?”

The policeman replied, “Tacks evasion.”

Prisoner help

Social Worker: “And what is your name, my good man?”

Convict: “9994.”

Social Worker: “But that’s not your real name.”

Convict: “Naw, that’s only my pen name.”

Down and out

After a car crash the driver was lying injured at the side of the road. “Don’t worry,” said a policeman, “A Red Cross nurse is coming to attend to you.”

“Oh no,” groaned the victim, “couldn’t I have a blonde, cheerful one?”