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Features

  • It is a question that has puzzled humans for eons. How did our world come into being and who or what was responsible for its creation?

  • In 1988 Congress, by a House Joint Resolution, designated this coming Sunday, Aug. 21, to be “National Senior Citizens Day.” President Reagan then issued a proclamation calling upon the people of the United States to observe the day with appropriate ceremonies and activities.
    Of course, appropriate activities for Pun Alley are some senior stories.
    Senile?

  • Bingo is played at the Post every Monday and Thursday beginning at 11:30 a.m. Lunch is also available.
    Fish Fry 2nd and 4th Friday of every month (baked chicken is also available).
    This is served from 5 to 7 p.m. and the price is 2 for $10 or one ticket for $6. Karaoke in the canteen starting at 6 p.m.
    Wings and shrimp boats are served the 1st and 3rd Friday of each month. On the 5th Friday there will be a taco buffet from 4 to 6 p.m.
    Wednesday lunches are now available at the Post with a varying menu.

  • Friday, Aug. 19: Steak night with karaoke by J & S Entertainment beginning at 5 p.m.,
    Saturday, Aug. 20: TV sports, Show me the money at 2 p.m., Queen of Hearts, Rita's award, ham dinner and karaoke by Kenny Jackson all begins at 5 p.m.
    Sunday, Aug. 21: Breakfast Buffet 9 a.m. until 12 noon. TV sports
    Monday, Aug. 22: Men's General Mtg at 7 p,m.
    Tuesday, Aug. 23: Wings or shrimp with karaoke by David Baldwin starting at 5 p.m.
    Thursday, Aug. 25: Fun Night, bowling at 5 p.m., shuffleboard and Wii bowling tournaments at 6 p.m.

  • This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. This week as I pondered our life together it occurred to me, I might be taking some things for granted. Doing this, especially when it involves another person, is dangerous. I decided to take a little stock of myself and my relationship with the Mistress of the parsonage. What makes our marriage so great?

  • The recent political shenanigans about raising the national debt and reducing spending brought to mind Will Rogers whose salty comments on the political and social scene made him widely known. Starting out in vaudeville as a cowboy rope-twirler, joking casually with the audience, he went on to gain a wide audience through motion pictures, books, radio, and a syndicated newspaper column.

  • By Peter Musella
    Big Sun Chorus
    August and the “Dog Days of Summer” are upon us. In spite of the sweltering heat, the Big Sun Chorus of Ocala is moving right along with “cool” plans for our new season of barbershop harmony.
    We have undergone major changes in the last few months; Anne Lord Bellis, our music director, resigned after many years of directing and leading us through some fun-filled years.

  • It is a box like no other in history. Shrouded in mystical power, holiness and spirituality, it has captivated the minds of archeologists and lay people alike. While its exact whereabouts is unknown having been lost in antiquity, moderns are left with only reading about the Ark of the Covenant.

  • The Stuff the Bus Operation comes to Jasmine Square tomorrow with lots of activities for kids and adults. All proceeds will go to the charity. On the way to Jasmine, the bus driver made a stop at Pun Alley and related some stories that have been traveling around on the bus routes.
    Capitol offense
    A blonde visiting Washington wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”

  • Usually, I live life on an even keel. I once had an odd keel, but fortunately, I had the good sense to throw it back into the water from whence it came. I take pride in maintaining a certain sense of balance in my life. But, there are those times when all balance is thrown out the window.
    Just this past week when I was enjoying an unusually wonderful sense of balance in my life, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage changed my whole demeanor.

  • Now that I have safely escaped the infamous 50-something stage of life, I am carefully testing the waters before me. They look calm, but you never can be sure. Moreover, at this juncture of my life I am in no mood for taking chances.

    Just the other day the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said to me rather sarcastically, “How does it feel to be 60-something?”

    I knew she was having too much fun with this so I retorted by saying, “I feel like two 30-year-olds.”

  • Today marks several significant dates in aviation history. The first transcontinental airmail flight from New York to San Francisco was flown in 1920 and the first jet transpacific flight was made in 1952. President Eisenhower moved us into the space age when he signed the NASA & Space Act of 1958.

    Accordingly, we take off from Pun Alley’s short runway into the skies with some pilot axioms.

    Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.

    If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.

  • Whoever said, “All good things must come to an end,” knew whereof he spoke. Why is it that something really good goes by so quickly and something really bad hangs around forever, or so it seems?

    Let me explain a little bit of what I mean.

  • Everyone knows that Dick and Jane have a dog named Spot. Even though this Dick and Jane like dogs, we don’t have one. But in honor of the Dog Days of Summer, Pun Alley has some spotless stories followed by some doggone ones.

    Elvis lives

    Andrew’s mother gave him ten dollars to buy lunch for himself and his sister Terri at the diner down the street. On the way they passed a man selling puppies for ten dollars each. Unable to resist, Andrew bought one, named it Elvis, and went home.

  • Not guilty or innocent, that is the question

     

    A murder trial in our area that gained international attention involved a young woman accused of murdering her 2-year-old daughter. She was facing four counts of murder including the death penalty. After the jury deliberated, they came back and exonerated her on all four counts. The jury’s verdict was, “not guilty.”

    As far as the law is concerned, this woman is not guilty of the crime she was accused.

  • According to the Internet site, Bizarre, Crazy, Silly Unknown Holidays, tomorrow is Cow Appreciation Day. Just off of Pun Alley is a little known cow path where we see some moving tails, or is it moooving tales?

    Lots of cows

    A young man visited a small ranch and was walking with one of the ranch hands through the barnyard when he said, “Say, look at that big bunch of cows.”

    The hired hand replied, “Not bunch, but herd.”

    “Heard what?”

    “Herd of cows.”

  • The National League of Junior Cotillons (NLJC), a program of etiquette, character education, and social dance training for middle and junior high school students, has announced plans to establish its national program in Marion County.

          Elizabeth Anne Winters, NLJC National Director, said, “We will be selecting a director for a local chapter who will receive complete training and an exclusive territory for expansion.”

  • Born in Jacksonville, on Oct. 5, 1952, and raised in the Jacksonville/Middleburg area, the Rev. Alan Jefferson received a degree in history from the University of North Florida, and a Masters of Divinity from Candler School of Theology at Emory University. Married to Ronda Jo Ryan, they have three children; Becki, married to Shawn Lucas living in Edgewater, with their son, Wyatt; Bo, married to Crystal Wellman, along with 2-year-old Tre (James Alan III), living in Crystal River; and Tim, married to Jessica Bullion, with children Tiffany, and Tyler, living in Lakeland.

  • Occasionally, I hear about somebody objecting to prayer. Usually, it is somebody who has no idea what he or she is talking about. It must be a slow news day when the media highlights this as one of their news stories. I guess nothing else is going on in the world demanding our attention. However, when someone suggests praying in public somebody always rises in open protest. After all, everybody knows how dangerous prayer really is.