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Features

  • Palm Sunday at Countryside

    The Rev. Gary Marshall will lead the Procession of Palms on Palm Sunday, March 28 at the 10:30 a.m. worship service at Countryside Presbyterian Church, 7768 S.W. State Road 200, Ocala.

    All are welcome to attend this special Lenten service. For further information, call the church office at 352-237-4633.

    Our Redeemer Lutheran

  • The Forty and Eight veterans group is proud to announce that at our next meeting we will have Paula Welenc, director of services at the Fisher House in Tampa, as our guest speaker.

  • The Passover tradition is an ancient one. The celebration of the Israelites’ liberation from Egyptian bondage goes back some 3,000 years. The story of the Exodus is symbolically portrayed and re-enacted each year in a ritual called the Seder. Through the eating of ritual foods, songs, prayers and symbolic acts, the whole liberation experience is recreated by Jews all over the world.

  • Watching the news is still a big part of the day for Margaret Seither.

    The other day, March 1, she was part of the local news when she celebrated her 102 birthday.

    Although healthy, macular degeneration has left her with limited sight. Her hearing is almost nonexistent.

    But with a large-screen television and ear phones she is able to get some news.

    “Fox News comes in clear; the rest sound like a bunch of noise,” she said.

    Seither moved to Pine Run some 30 years ago after retiring from Western Union.

  • Don’t leave home without a travel-size bottle of shampoo, conditioner, a small bar of soap or similar hygiene products next week.

     

    Those items are needed for homeless children, and March 19 and 20 volunteers from Eve Circle of Ocala West United Methodist Church will collect those items.

    Last year during a similar drive, the women were able to put together 985 personal hygiene kits for homeless and needy children from the items they collected, said Judy Dale, coordinator of the yearly project.

  • Next Wednesday is St. Patrick’s Day, a holiday first celebrated in 1737 by Irish immigrants in Boston. Now almost everyone celebrates by wearing green, being honorary Irish, drinking green beer, and eating corned beef and cabbage. The Irish can be proud; going green the year around has now become a worldwide objective. In honor of St. Patty, Pun Alley gets painted green and has some Irish fun.

    Layoff

  • On March 14, Daylight Saving Time begins when we get to set our clocks forward an hour. We all lose an hour of sleep, and those who forget find themselves at church or the golf course an hour late. This can be embarrassing, but not catastrophic, and is funny to those who observe it. Today’s Pun Alley begins with some timely material.

     

    A Minor Problem

    Last year Bob, a coal miner in West Virginia, forgot to set his clock ahead an hour and woke up late. He realized this when he was shaving, so he skipped breakfast and rushed out to his car.

  • Ever since Abraham looked up to the stars and was told by God that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars of heaven, Jews have scanned the heavens in search of knowledge and adventure. While Jewish mothers are commonly apt to brag about “my son, the doctor,” or “my son, the lawyer,” “my son, the astronaut,” has a funny ring to it. In truth, there are many Jews involved with the space industry, as well as famous Jewish astronauts.

  • (In the spirit of the humorous holiday of Purim which is celebrated on Feb. 28, I offer the following)

    If you like merriment, costume parties, humorous plays, great food, and a rollicking good time, have I got a holiday for you! And it all started when a brave Jewish woman defended her people and foiled the evil plans of one who wanted to destroy the Jews of ancient Persia.

  • February is a month for candy lovers for many of us. Of course there’s Valentine Day with lovers giving and receiving various types of candies. But it’s also a time to remember the introduction of the Tootsie Roll, which occurred 114 years ago this last Tuesday. Accordingly, Pun Alley just has to present some sweet stories.

    Entangle Mints

  • On Sunday, Feb. 28 at 3 p.m., “The Big Sun Chorus and Company” will provide a performance of barbershop harmony at the Ocala West United Methodist Church, 9330 S.W. 105th St., Ocala with a general admission fee of $10.

     

  • Maria Olivero has been elected lieutenant governor for Kiwanis Division 6 Key Clubs in the Florida District.

    The 17-year-old West Port High School junior has been a member of the school’s Key Club, sponsored by Friendship Kiwanis Club of Ocala, for two years, serving that organization as vice president and director. Key Club faculty adviser Tyler Waters said Florida Kiwanis Division 6 encompasses several Kiwanis clubs from Ocala, Lake Weir and Silver Springs Shores, as far north as Palatka.

  • Direct from "The Great Southern Cracker Roadshow," an event which was one of seven presentations to instruct St. Augustine residents on Florida history before the city's 450th birthday in 2015, Dana Ste. Claire and Janis Owens will be the main attraction at this year’s “Cracker Days” at Rainbow Springs State Park.

  • Today marks the end of National Engineers Week, according to the Internet site, Bizarre, Crazy, Silly Unknown Holidays. Engineers across the country have been celebrating by telling various amusing stories relating to their profession. Our Pun Alley editor, a retired engineer, contributes to the fray with today’s column.

    Sharp Thinking

  • One of my favorite rides at Walt Disney World is the Pirates of the Caribbean. This swashbuckling adventure appeals to the pirate in all of us as you travel through uncharted “waters” encountering storms, ghost ships, naval battles and the ubiquitous countenance of Johnny Depp. Putting the Disney magic aside, it did get me wondering if indeed there were Jewish pirates who roamed the Caribbean in search of treasured prey.

  • The South Marion Citizen asked readers to submit their Valentine love stories. Those received are published today.

    Lois and Vernon Uzzell

    A mutual lady friend aimed Cupid’s bow and arrow at Lois, a 77-year-old widow, and Vernon, an 83-year-old widower.

  • The OTOW Lions Club members are asking residents to help with the relief efforts for the people of Haiti who have been injured and lost all they have in the recent earthquake. The will be collecting the following items.

     

    MEDICAL SUPPLIES

    First aid supplies, Band Aids, gauze, bandages, tape, Ace Bandages, water purification tablets, alcohol swabs, hydrogen peroxide, iodine, disinfectants, aspirin, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, gloves, thermometers, blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes and diapers.

    Other Items

  • Sunday is St. Valentine’s Day, named after a priest who lived near Rome about the year 270 A.D., according to church tradition. It is a day on which lovers across the country express their love for each other by sending Valentine’s cards, presenting flowers, or offering candies.

    Cupid’s visit to Pun Alley left some lovely stories as well some others when Cupid was slinging pointy barbs instead of arrows.

    Appreciative Wife

  • Oak Run’s annual health fair will take place on Thursday, Oct. 29, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Palm Grove. Come find out about many services, groups, facilities and professionals. Florida’s Blood Centers will have a bloodmobile on site for those who wish to get into (or back into) blood donation. The bloodmobiles will also be at Palm Grove on Nov. 4 and 5 at the regular times.

    Ambassadors’ Arts and Crafts Sale and Luncheon

  • Cherrywood Craft Show is Saturday

    The November Craft Show will be Saturday, Nov. 14, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.