.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....

Features

  • The Marion Cultural Alliance (MCA) has selected Circle Square Commons for the first step of a long-range expansion program by opening its first art-and-gift shop in western Marion County at Circle Square Commons – the cultural and entertainment hub at On Top of the World Communities, just off Southwest 80th Street.

  • Preservist Sarah Barker submitted the following article and picture.

     

    Hernando Elementary School collected soda can pop tops all year to donate to the Shriners organization. They collected 12 cases (paper box size) of tabs, actually 600 pounds.

  • June is the “Great Outdoors Month,” probably named by the folks up north where it’s finally gotten warm. Here we have been enjoyed the outdoors for some time now, enough to have some stories find their way to Pun Alley.

    Taking a shine to it

    A vacationer from up north was fishing on a lake when he noticed another man in a boat shining a mirror on the water. Being curious, he rowed over and asked, “What’s the mirror for?”

  • As we grow older, more and more of us are alone either through divorce or most likely death. Some of us have never lived alone. We’ve never had a relationship with ourselves in spite of the fact that it’s the most important relationship we’ll ever have.

  • On this day in 1896, Henry Ford took his first car out for a test drive. As summer approaches, many of us are using descendents of these first vehicles on our vacations. Accordingly, Pun Alley is filled with car stories.

    Young and Foolish

    Elsie, a senior citizen, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW pulled into the space. In an angry mood she said to the fellow, “I was about to park there.”

    The man replied, “That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”

  • New acquisitions proudly adorn the library's premises. A picnic table sits to the side of the building in the cool shade of an oak, and two outdoor benches affixed to the front columns provide a welcome break for patrons. A third bench will soon be added and a portable microphone for use at various library events will also be purchased.

  • “Drill, baby, drill. Do it now because otherwise we’ll only have to do it later.” Those were the words I said to my dentist when she mentioned I had a cavity that would eventually need filling. While sitting in the dentist’s chair being bored I reflected upon some stories I heard in the waiting room.

    Nothing but the tooth

    Betty didn’t want to have her tooth pulled, even though her mother said there was no other choice. But, every time the dentist went to put the forceps in her mouth, she clenched her teeth.

  • Our Redeemer Lutheran Church

    Vacation Bible School will take place Monday, June 21, through Friday, June 25, at Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 5200 S.W. State Road 200. “Planet Zoom” is the theme for this adventure which will be from 9 a.m. to noon for children ages 4-12. Registration begins on June 1, to register your child or children, or for more information please call 352-237-2233 before 1 p.m.

    Episcopal Church of the Advent

  • The Good Vibrations Barbershop Quartet was honored to be invited to perform once again at Hospice of Marion County’s sixth annual Mother’s Day luncheon held at Bonefish Grill on May 8. It was the quartet’s pleasure to show its appreciation for all that Hospice of Marion County contributes to our community. Once again, the quartet had a wonderful time singing for the audience. We’re looking forward to next year. Thank you.

     

  • The story is a familiar one. The Creator is disappointed with the humans s/he has created and so decides to punish their wickedness with a global flood, which would destroy all of creation. All would be destroyed except for one man and his family who has found favor in the eyes of God. This man is told to build a huge boat in which to house the male and female species of the earth so that after the flood, the world can be repopulated.

  • Our Redeemer Lutheran Church

    Vacation Bible School will take place Monday, June 21, through Friday, June 25, at Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 5200 S.W. State Road 200. “Planet Zoom” is the theme for this adventure which will be from 9 a.m. to noon for children ages 4-12. Registration begins on June 1, to register your child or children, or for more information please call 352-237-2233 before 1 p.m.

    Episcopal Church of the Advent

  • Children planning to attend kindergarten during the upcoming 2010-2011 school year can register early at their local elementary school.

    Again this year, parents can complete and print an online form to bring with them when registering their child at school. Doing so will save lots of time in the waiting line. This form is available under the “Student Enrollment” option in the “Parent Information” tab at www.marion.k12.fl.us, the district’s website.

  • We read that the economy is recovering. But Greece’s money is slipping and the oil spill is killing the recovery and everything under the sea. The economy is certainly having its ups and downs, probably caused by all the financial yo-yos.

    President Obama said the federal government can no longer spend taxpayers’ money like its monopoly money. Especially since monopoly money is now more valuable than the dollar.

    Stock Market Report

  • When a Jewish group of people get together to form a congregation, one of the first things they plan for is the acquisition of a new Torah. (The Five Books of Moses in scroll form, considered sacred to Jews) This often takes many months or even years of planning because hand written scrolls can cost thousands of dollars. Sometimes, if the congregation is lucky, a congregant will come forward and donate the Torah either in memory or honor of a loved one or an auspicious event they might want to commemorate.

  • Today marks the end of National Police Week. We usually see police as we travel along State Road 200, the backbone of the corridor that plays a large part in our daily activities. Many travel between home and stores while others use the highway as a way between home and work.

    We should always be courteous to other drivers, even if they are wrong; it’s better than to be dead right. Traveling down Pun Alley gets us to some arresting stories.

    Cover Up

    Jen was speeding along Highway 200 on her way home from shopping when the police car pulled up next to her.

  • On Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day to show honor and respect to one of the most influential persons in our lives. We all spent the most formative years of our lives with our mothers. Now, as we look back we realize that many things about moms were amusing, if not downright funny.

    Our amble down the Alley starts with mother’s profound teachings.

    My Mother taught me about anticipation: “Just wait until your father gets home.”

  • Today is an important anniversary for Louisiana. In 1803 France sold Louisiana and adjoining lands to the United States as part of the Louisiana Purchase. In 1812 Louisiana became the 18th state in the United States. Pun Alley takes to the bayous and swamps for today’s tales.

    Swamped with good luck

  • His very name is the stuff that legends are made of. Bar Kochba, son of a star. “A star rises from Jacob” (Numbers 24:17), a messiah, a savior for Israel.

    The year is 132 CE. The Romans again have imposed tyrannical rule over the province of Judea. Jews are forbidden to practice circumcision, Roman promises of a Temple rebuilt have gone unfulfilled and the people long for sovereignty in their own land. The mood is ripe for rebellion and with the people behind him, Bar Kochba rises to the occasion in open rebellion against the might of Rome.

  • Sounds of “Take Me Out to The Ball Game” have recently permeated the airwaves signifying the beginning of the baseball season. On this day in 1954, Hank Aaron hit the first of his 755 home runs. With baseball in mind, your Pun Alley writer takes to the plate to try to make some hits for you.

    Shocking

    Several years ago the Washington Nationals, with the worst record in baseball, fired their manager. Usually for results that bad in Washington you don’t get fired; you get re-elected.

    Strike Out

  • Sally Dussler said she was “flabbergasted” that a place where she had lived for just about a week would throw her a big party for her 101st birthday.

    But that was the case at Quiet Oaks Assisted Living on Monday afternoon when the Pennsylvania native and former New Jersey resident was honored, just two days after she hit that milestone.