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Today's News

  • Santa brought us a gift of gags

    With Christmas less than a week away, shopping should be completed, decorations should be strung and blinking, and plans for the holiday finalized. However, there are always a few who wait for the last moment to buy those special gifts.

    Wander through our Punny Mall for some practical gift-giving advice.

    String Her Along

    A movie producer was telling a friend about giving his girl friend a string of pearls for Christmas.

    “Why,” said the friend, “don’t you give her something practical, like an automobile?”

  • Landing residents are ‘kettle’ pushers

    Every Wednesday since mid November Marion Landing residents have been ringing those bells at the Salvation Army’s red kettle in front of Winn Dixie. It’s become an annual tradition.

    They’re on duty from 8 a.m. till 6 p.m. and would be tickled to have you stop by to wish them a merry Christmas and make your drop in the bucket. They will be manning the red kettle until Christmas Eve.

    Cruise Control

  • Yes, the pancake breakfast is tomorrow

    The Oak Run Newsletter incorrectly shows the pancake breakfast as taking place on its usual fourth Saturday of the month, Dec. 27. However, there are signs up all over the Orchid Club lobby that this month’s pancake breakfast will instead take place Saturday, Dec. 20.

    And what’s that reference to champagne? Sounds interesting – pancakes and bubbly tomorrow.

    Neighborhood One

  • My Apologies to Santa

    They’re trying to take Christ out of Christmas

    and banning the manger scenes too,

    labeling Christmas trees as holiday trees

    and now they have targeted you.

    Despite your long history of kindness

    and the children wide-eyed at your pack,

    those stuffy, mean spirited grinches

    have you under attack. Your familiar old pipe is long gone,

    I truly do empathize.

    The “ho, ho,” of your greeting’s been converted

  • If they’re preserved enough, there’ll be some dancing

    Just down the road apiece, the majority of Spruce Creek Preserve residents anticipate a busy Christmas season, attending many planned “get-togethers” in the community.

    Preservists all agree that the event looked forward to the most is the Community’s Annual Christmas Social.

    High on the list of the Social’s favorites, the “Preserved Dancers” features eleven talented ladies, dressed in “knock out” attire, dancing to everyone’s favorite songs.

    From Koebbe’s Kitchen:

  • Collateral damage of a free market

    According to President Bush the world financial crisis was in no way caused by free market economic policy. History doesn’t support the president’s belief. Our current crisis is a repetition of many other periods of abuse of economic freedom, most memorably the Great Depression.

    Capitalism is successful when economic and political freedom are mutually supportive. Institutional responsibility and political protection of the individual freedoms set forth in our Constitution are both necessary.

  • Troubling News from the North Pole

    While many are absorbed with the trifling news of the weakening economy, bailing out the all but defunct auto industry, and the emergence of a new Britney Spears, news that is more important is not being heard. Believe it or not, there are some things more important than these. At least to some people.

     The most troubling news of the day comes from the North Pole. In a few weeks, the jolly man from the North will make his visit. However, some difficulties may prevent his usual prompt appearance this year.

  • It’s punnier to gawk than to shop

    In an effort to help our country’s economy I spent Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, at the mall. Bargains abounded but not for anything useful to me.

    I wound up sitting on a bench watching the shoppers and realizing that people are interesting. They all have different personalities, characteristics, habits, and shapes.

    Stories about people and their experiences take us into today’s Pun Alley.

    Celebration

  • Friends trim the library tree

    Get ready to have your picture taken and hung on the library’s tree. Last week, the Friends of Freedom Public Library and several volunteers erected it, checked all the lights and finished the decoration. All it needs now are photos of smiling faces to make this truly a community tree. Stop in with the kids and grandkids and ask the Reference Librarian to bring out the camera.

    Chicken Scratch

    Quilt Donation

  • Count down to New Year’s and annual dance

    The Ambassadors are putting on "Count Down to 2009," their New Years’ dance on Wednesday, Dec. 31,  from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. in the Palm Grove Ballroom.

    Music will be by "Double Density," Ralph and Sandra, who play a variety of dance music. Festivities include hors d’oeuvres catered by Bruce.