.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....

Pun Alley

-A A +A

Interesting stories about Labor Day

By Dick Frank

Monday is Labor Day, a holiday that America has celebrated on the first Monday in September since 1882. The original idea was to have a street parade demonstrating the strength of trade and labor organizations. Now many consider the holiday to be the end of summer while others just welcome a day off work.

Anticipating the coming holiday, some locals held a parade on Pun Alley to leave some interesting stories.

The worker

The Wage and Hours Government Department claimed Mickey was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“How much do you pay your employees,” demanded the agent.

Mickey replied, “There’s my ranch hand who I pay $900 a week plus free room and board. I pay the cook $700 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day doing almost all the work. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board.”

“The half-wit is the guy I want to talk to,” said the agent.

“That would be me,” replied old rancher Mickey.

Unique chips

A potato chip factory decided to create a novel form of chips by frying them in goose grease. Unfortunately, one day a few goose feathers accidentally fell into the frying vat. However, a veteran inspector discovered the batch before it reached the public. When told of the mishap and the outcome, his boss remarked, “He’s a good man to have around when the chips are down.”

Laboring

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend.

He’s a gunner in a canning factory. He shells peas.

You really are getting old when your work is less fun and your fun is more work.

I do most of my work sitting down. That’s where I shine.

“It’s not just the work I enjoy,” confided the cab driver, “it’s the people I run into.”

Every time I have to give one of those motivational speeches, I get a stomachache. I hope I don’t have a pep-talk ulcer.

When a houseboat grows up it becomes a township.

There was a guy who met his wife at a single’s bar. It was quite a scene; he thought she was home with the kids.

I had a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Nowadays, government employees are people who aren’t ashamed of their convictions.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

“I spent four years in college taking medicine.”

“Are you well now?”

Editorial decisions

Webster’s dictionary editors met to decide how to abridge the new edition. “We are listing too many old words that no one uses any more, they’ve gotta go,” Said the chief editor. “It’s time we faced the fact that we can’t have archaic and edit too.”

Clean sweep

A young man reported for his first day of work at a supermarket. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep the store.”

“But, I’m a FSU graduate,” the young man replied indignantly, “I even played football there!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom, I better show you how.”

The end

“So your husband has got a job at last,” said a neighbor of Mrs. Smith.

“Yes, he has,” replied Mrs. Smith. “It is hard work and he says it is killing him. But thank goodness, it’s permanent.”

Timely

“I hear the men are striking.”

“What for?”

“Shorter hours.”

“Good luck to them. I always did think sixty minutes was too long for an hour.”

Please pass the peas

Botanist Roy Noble had always dreamt of ending world hunger. After years of research, his hard work paid off. He developed a strain of peas that would grow virtually anywhere and was more nutritious than soybeans. There were awards and parades, and naturally the new strain of peas was named after him. After enjoying the fame, Roy established a fund to award a monetary prize each year to botanists and horticulturists who were making significant contributions to their fields. Thus was born the famous Noble Peas Prize.

Dick and his wife Jane live in Oak Run.