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Pogo was right: we have met the enemy ee" he is us

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By Wendy Binnie

Aren’t we supposed to have at least two political parties? They go together, like a matched set. Can anyone imagine The Swamp without Pogo, Moo without Alley Oop, Dogpatch without Abner, a yin without a yang?

So, how could Americans imagine a democracy without two parties? Our Founding Fathers in their wisdom realized that a one-party system sounded too much like a monarchy which was the kind of government that raised taxes on things like tea and crumpets. And we’ve already been there, done that.

Well, we couldn’t have that, not in America. So we told our British rulers where to go. Annoyed, they sent mercenaries to eat our lunch. So whether we liked it or not, we had this revolution thing and caught those Hessians with their pants down at Trenton. But you have to give the British credit; they kept on marching in their red tunics daring you to shoot them down. So we did; if we’d chickened out, we’d probably have lost our NRA franchise.

We finally won our independence. Initially, we were a one-party system, fought for a democratic republic, and then after we won it, later we gave it all back. So now some think of us as a constitutional monarchy, or a religious leaning oligarchy or some combination thereof. Take ‘Fast Track’ as an example. Now, whose idea was that? It sure as heck wasn’t the people’s idea to send our jobs to places with strange- sounding names. This was for our own good, according to the economic prophets. What it all meant was that now we had the privilege of calling and getting insulted in any of a dozen languages.

Getting back to the subject at hand. Here’s an idea for a new party. Remember when there was a Worker’s party? Well, nobody got behind it because it was said it was Socialist -or Commie-based, or something like that. Until now, nobody has thought of starting an Un-Workers Party. Of course, it wasn’t apropos before because most people had decent paying jobs. But ever since government said it was okay to ship our jobs all over the world and buy at Walmart, we’ve had a lot of people out there belly-aching about not finding decent paying jobs. And what do you want to bet, despite those smoothed-over statistics coming from Washington, that there are enough folks out there to make one hell of a party?

For starters, we could gather armies of non-workers and march into Mexico to demand that they return our jobs. Then, Washington could be declared as a National Target Range for all of those NRA types and demand mandatory bull’s eyes on the outstretched palms of our elected officials. Yes sirree, that might build up a head of steam and get us going in the right direction.

Building an Antimissile Shield that doesn’t work and planes nobody wants (except those senators in whose districts the part makers reside) is rather stupid. Let’s throw those billions behind the president who is trying his best to help us be covered by decent affordable health care! What do we have to lose? This is not Harry and Louise trashing Hillary so why do the ‘antis’ and the ‘no’ people act like it’s Thelma and Louise?

To make some more money, we could bring back the T-shirt business to our shores. It is downright disheartening to go to local stores in larger cities and find all of those foreigners selling T-shirts made in China that say ‘Buy USA’ and stuff like that. Hear that China? Our people are talking here, pay attention, it could happen to you!

Why not raise the Social Security cap?

Why not enact a special (import) tax for those un-Americans who have their businesses in foreign lands and bank in the Cayman’s?

Why not eschew mailing out S.S. checks to millionaires?

We have the money if someone were around who is wise enough to allocate it properly. Think – just think! It really can be up to us!

As I was saying . . . 

Wendy England Binnie a novelist and op/ed columnist lives in Oak Trace Villas.